Gollum Style

We LOVE everything!  We HATE everything!

Alas, a new year has arrived and what was my first thought upon waking?

Gollum.

"Peculiar", you might say; "Oh, Holy Hell, why?" would be another apt response.  But if you've been hanging out here in IndieDom for awhile, you probably know that's sort of how my mind works. 

We took the kids to see "The Hobbit" the other day and we discovered a couple of revelations.  One, is that M2 is a lot like Gollum/Smeagol during steroid week, which happened to coincide with the day we saw the movie.  Also, according to Kev, I apparently also possess the "personality of Gollum and the physique of a Hobbit."  Of course, he said that in jest, but I hasten to add, in the words of Ellen DeGeneres "If it's a joke, then we should both be laughing." I'll admit though, he's not far off the mark.  I am given to fits of contradiction.  "We LOVE the house!"  "We HATE the house!"  "The house is so beautiful!"  "Oh nooo....the house isn't finished!"  But ladies...aren't we all Gollum/Smeagol for a week each month? (Wink, wink)  And it's true...I've been hitting the Christmas cookies pretty hard.  However, this new year, so jam packed with possibility, I plan to get myself into elf shape before you can say  Arias'tama (that's 'bad ass' for all you non elves). 

Since I do a pretty wicked Gollum impression, I've spent the entire morning speaking in his voice.  So far, Kev is putting up with it, but M2 simply said "Stop it; that's uncomfortable."  The newly christened teenager will simply roll his eyes when he wakes up at noon.

So why did I wake up with Gollum in my head?  And why am I taking on his voice, other to entertain myself and drive my family crazy?  Why were he and his alter ego riding my shoulders like a devil/angel tandem as I awoke on this, the first day of the year?  Being the classic over thinker that I am, I'm going with the theory of realization of the contradictions that live in my head that threaten to undermine and tear at my foundation.  

"We love our life."  

"We're dissatisfied with our life!"

"We are happy with our relationships."

"We should work harder at our relationships!"

"We've made progress with our blog!"  

"We are a small, small blog!" 

"But we've only been doing this for under a year, Precious!" 

"Nooo!  We should be doing more...Mod Momses..." 

"We're so full of self doubt...we're being ridiculous! Remember, we're funny."

"Shut up!  Funny and four bucks will get us a Starbucks!"

"Ooohhh....Starbucks!  We looove Starbucks!"

"We hate Starbucks! It's too expensive!"

"No!! We love Starbucks! We're worth the four bucks occasionally!"

"It's a New Year! Clean slate!"  

"Oooh....then why do we feel so heavy hearted, Precious?" 

"We're just overwhelmed!  Life's a game; a riddle! We will solve the riddle!"

"But what if we're just floundering about and the answers never come?  Well, at least we're enjoying ourselves." 

"Enjoying ourselves?? We torture ourselves with stats and comparisons to other blogs, Precious!  We will eat the blog alive doing that!  We will roast and eat the blog!!" 

Well...you get the idea.  My brain is exhausting.  So I'm going to work on thinking of the possibilities of the new year rather than the uphill climb.  I wouldn't want to slip off one tiny rock and fall off the proverbial cliff...even though...those dwarves did manage to survive a lot of major falls.  

I dunno...maybe I should've just gone to see Les Mis.  

On the other hand...

Yeah...not so much.